Looking for the Truth

Harp and I went out to buy shoes yesterday; Rose was at preschool, so we were alone, enjoying each other's company on a lovely Tuesday afternoon in Oakland. We talked about poverty (seriously), her current teacher's "boring-ness" and when American Idol will return to TV. Then, my little whippersnapper asked me, out of the blue, "Mom, are you the tooth fairy?"

Choking back my surprise, trying not to look in the rear view mirror, I did what any normal parent would do - avoided answering the question.

"What makes you ask that, hon?"

"Well, because, you know how I'm getting taller.

"Yeah."

"Well, I was looking on your top bookshelf, because I know you keep lip gloss up there sometimes, and I got the lip gloss."

"Yeah."

"Well, I know I should ask you about lip gloss next time."

"Yeah."

"Well, anyway, there was this little tooth - my tooth - behind the lip gloss."

"Yeah."

"So, I thought maybe you were the tooth fairy and that the tooth fairy really isn't real."

So.........a cross road of sorts. Decision time. Is this the end of fairies, of Santa Claus, of everything magical in childhood? Right here, right now - is she really too old for fairies at almost seven? And how did she make the connection between the tooth and her parents' many years of subterfuge and deception? Thoughts whizzed through my brain as I contemplated the conversation - the many ways to handle it.

In the end, I found I just couldn't lie to her face; her question was so earnest, so I told her the truth. I don't know why making up stories, passing along myth and tradition seems so easy when they're young, unaware and innocent, but she's not anymore. And I couldn't answer her question as if she was still a part of a world that's simple, easy and constructed, albeit with love, by her parents. She's out there now and oddly, the loss of this little bit of innocence didn't make me sad or rueful.....even for a moment. We still have Santa Claus, I know, but the writing's on the wall, she's writing it now and I find that I don't mind so much - it's a brilliant story.