Finding Strawberries

A few years ago I stopped eating strawberries. And this is big; because if you know anything about me, you know that strawberries are it for me - the big kahuna, the food obsession, surpassed only by avocados as my favorite food. In college I would stuff equal parts guacamole and strawberry pie down my gullet any chance I had. On my birthday, people would just gift me strawberries - baskets of big red ones, strawberry pie, chocolate-covered strawberries, strawberry shortcake. It was a thing; I liked it. I had an identity.

So, where did it go? Well, now that I think about it, it was mostly about the almighty dollar. Organic strawberries usually cost 5 bucks a basket so when I stopped working, the tasty treats became too precious to buy. And you gotta have organic with the berries. My obsession with strawberries in my early years coupled with big business and poisonous agricultural practices, means that I'm probably one-half methyl bromide. I try not to think about it; at least my kids don't have seven toes. But when I started riding the organic train and trying to keep my kids from ingesting as many toxins as I did, I had to give up the big, beautiful berry of my youth. Strawberries meant spring, my birthday, the end of school, the long days of summer. I just loved them and now I was out-priced from eating them....safely.

When Harp was young and I took her to the market, she would plead with me to buy strawberries and some times I'd give in, but I rarely indulged in them myself. They were too expensive; I wanted her to have them, so I gave 'em up - not consciously, but for all intents and purposes I saved the special treats, costing a buck a bite, for my little person and then for her sister.6

Do you ever notice how much you give up food for your kids? The last bite of something yummy, the bottle of water which, when returned, is too gross to drink, the dinner that you had to share because mac and cheese is suddenly and mysteriously distasteful? We give up so much - time, sanity, movies, but you never really think about food. I hadn't; it's just the way it is when they're young. But the food thing really hit me when Trader Joe's, my all-time favorite store started selling organic strawberries for $2.79 a big basket. That's right, cheap, organic berries of love. And just a few weeks ago I started eating them......... really eating them........ eating them a lot. And it was wonderful. I hadn't realized how much I missed them, how deprived I'd felt over the past few years over the loss of the berry. And ultimately how much we give up for our kids. It was a solid reminder for me - a person who needs many and constant reminders - that I don't have to give up everything. Sounds dramatic, but really it was quite profound. The food-love of my youth rediscovered through the cloudy, dirty lens of motherhood. So thank god for Trader Joe's and dammit if I'm not gonna fight Harp for the last strawberry next time.

Mom out.