The End of an Era

Harper graduated Kindergarten last week and the whole thing was really surreal, surreal, sad and momentous. I mean, she just started yesterday. I'll never forget the day; we were nearly as afraid as she, worried about the level of education, worried about her safety, her happiness. It just seemed so big for her. She was only four, after all - a mature, smart and sassy four but still just a handful of years on the planet, with hardly enough knowledge or know-how to navigate this new system of rules and expectation. And how would she know where to go to the bathroom. Would she be to scared to ask to pee, mar her first day, emotionally and forever with an accident in her pants? She was never more anxious and nervous than on that day, sitting at her assigned table, waiting to be questioned, tested and tried. I was crying in the reception room, with other parents - cliche and predictable, but no less authentic and important. Chris hugged me and we walked home.

And now, she's done. Sheesh. Where do they sell the parenting clock? Because, this one just ain't working. My five year old pile of sass had an amazing year. She never had a bathroom accident and she circumnavigated the challenges of Kindergarten with ease and confidence. She amazes me. I, however, cried all through graduation. More than the first day. Why so many things make me cry in parenthood is a poignant curiosity to me. But.....Chris hugged me and we walked home. And she's perfect.